Pain, Parasites, Police

I guess it's time that I stop filling these pages with little blurbs that just tell you what kind of person that I am. I think that everyone who reads this blog already has an opinion formed in their mind about me, be it good or bad. It's time to get back to the old school of writing about what the heck is going on in my life.

About two or three weeks ago I started to get this dull pressure in my lower right abdomen. Right where my thigh meets my torso. I didn't think too much of it since the pain was intermitent and not keeping me from my daily routine. But then one Saturday the dull irregular throb became a constant pressure in the area. It became uncomfortable. So, I decided to go to the hospital on Tuesday and have it checked out.

Louise and I went to the hospital and Louise had mentioned to the doctor that I had had a hernia repair before. It was when I was 15 so I didn't think that it was a problem with that one, but maybe a new one. The doctor checked me for a hernia. It was negative. He then started telling Louise that he was going to give me medicine. I became confused. I asked if he knew what I had. He wasn't sure. Louise said that he wanted to give me muscle relaxants. I turned to the doctor and told him that I didn't want medicine if he wasn't sure what I had. I wanted him to do tests and figure it out and then give me some medicine. But he just talked to Louise and told her that maybe I could see a new doc.

So, I did.

Doc number two was at a small clinic on a very small side road in downtown Chung Li. He was recommended to me by a friend. I was going to go see the doctor on Friday afternoon, but Thursday night the pain was so intense that I had to cancel my class. So I went to see the doc right away. From the get-go I liked this guy better. He did routine checks, but he also did a thorough sonogram of my abdomen. Those things are kind of funny, because he would stop in places and freeze the image and tell me that I was looking at my spleen, or appendix, or some other part. To me it all looked the same. A black and white blur.

The sonogram produced no conclusive answers. He then asked for blood and urine and sent me on my way with some Tylenol and stomach settlers. I returned on Sunday morning to discover *gasp* that I may have a parasite living in my intestines. That's right kiddies! I may have worms. I was shocked. So I gave the doc a stool sample and waited a few more days for the test results.

Negative. No parasites. That's good. Also the pain has receded. That's good. But, I don't know what caused it. That's bad.

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I also had a run-in with Johnny Law last Sunday.

I was driving to Adrian's to watch a movie and then the F1 race. It was 11:45pm. I was driving on a deserted road and came to a red light. It is such a lame intersection. Every other light I could see was blinking red and amber. But this one was red. The distance to the other side of the intersection is 10 feet. I looked in the direction of opposing traffic and saw no one coming, so I ran the light. You might think I'm crazy but you have to understand that in Taiwan I don't think I can recall one time that I have been at a red light where someone hasn't ran the light. It's about as common here as a Led Zeppelin song being played on CJ92.

Immediately after pulling through the aforementioned red the police man stepped out from behind the parked car ahead on my right. DAMN IT!! But what was I to do, I knew I broke the law.

I pulled over and killed my engine. The policeman said something in Chinese. I knew he wanted my license, but I pretended to be an ignorant foreigner who can't speak any Chinese. Sometimes the police won't want to deal with translation difficulties and they will simply let you go on your way.

Unfortunately for yours truly this cop spoke English. He asked me for my driver's license. I handed it over. He inspected the expiry date like a forensics expert and walked around my scooter. He then asked me if I understood the traffic signal. I answered honestly:

- Yeah, It was red I know. But every day in Taiwan I see people go through red lights and police sit there and do nothing. Plus, it's almost midnight on Sunday so I thought that it was no big deal. But, I did go through the red light, so you can give me a ticket.

He asked me for my registration card. I handed it over. He took the card and compared the information. Everything matched up except the names. My license has my Chinese name. My registration has my English name. He turned to ask if I understand Chinese.

- No. Sorry.

He went over to talk to his partner. They chatted for a while then he returned with partner in tow. He indicated with his hand the ticket book resting in his partner's hand. Do you know what this is? He asked.

- Yes sir. You write down my information and I take it to the post office and pay my fine.

The partner and the cop keep talking. I almost slipped up and asked in Chinese if they was a problem. But I caught myself. I explained to the officers that if they write Chinese it's ok. I can have a friend translate and it's not a big deal.

But then partner says that he can't write English. I just sit there. They talk a little longer and I hear him say it again:

- Wo bu huei shie Ying Wen Tz.

He walked over to me, handed me my documents and told me to go. Go quickly. I said thank you very much and got the hell outta dodge.

The funniest thing is that all of this transpired across the road from the video store I had wanted to get to. And to get to it I had to drive across a double yellow divider line. The police let that one slide.