Dr. Strangeland or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love Taiwan

3.07.2002

Ok here it is . . . the last sordid details of my last few moments in Thailand.

At 5:30am Adrian and I bought tickets to go to Ayutthya (the old capital of Siam). We were told that the first train wouldn��t be until 8:30. But our tickets said 6:00am. So no problem. We checked our packs and headed to the platform to await our train.

We get to our platform with plenty of time to spare. At 6:50 there is no train in the station. So maybe it will pull up load quickly and then move on.

No problem.

A little after 6:00 and there is still no sign of the train and the platform is full of people. So Adrian went to the information counter and asked when the train will arrive. They told him 7:00am.

No problem.

So we sit and wait for 7:00am. And as the time approaches arrives and passes we realize that there is a problem. So Adrian goes to the ticket counter to ask when exactly will the train be arriving. Instead of being given he is given a new ticket for a completely different train.

No problem.

I go to the ticket window to get a new ticket. I am now sitting 4 cars away from Adrian. Which makes me a little uneasy since we are in a strange country and I have no idea how the train system works there.

But we decide to wait. As we wait the train that we originally had tickets for pulls up. So Adrian goes to the window and asks for our original tickets back. We get the tickets and we get on the train. It is now 7:45 and we are finally on our way to the old capital of Siam.

Ayutthaya pt II �V In which our heroes make it to their goal . . . eventually.
The train ride was interesting to say the least.

Sitting across from us were two guys who looked like they hadn��t seen the good side of a day in months. They sat down across from us and were quick to offer a pull from the bottle of whiskey that they were sharing. We turned it down realizing that we were in for a very long ride.

Now anyone who has ever been on a train knows that they sometimes walk up and down the aisle selling food. What you might not know is that you should never, repeat never eat it. No matter how hungry you are you should NEVER eat it.

Sadly the guys across from us had never been given this news. They were eating lots of it. And it all smelt like The Den on a Friday morning. So we had to sit and smell all of the different foods they ate. Plus they were kind enough to offer us a taste of whatever abomination they were eating at the time. But I kept turning them down.

Now, we KNEW the ride was supposed to take about one and a half hours. But we didn��t know exactly where we were supposed to get off. So After 1.5 hours we asked the guys across from us when the stop was. They just sort of made a gesture to say that it was a ways away.

Then the train stopped and we thought . . . hmmmm, maybe this is the stop. So I looked out the window to the left, Adrian looked out to the right and we saw nothing. So we figured this isn��t the stop. Then the train started moving and we passed what appeared to be a station, and it appeared to have signs that said Ayutthaya.

No problem.

We��d just wait until the next stop and hop on a train heading south. 45 minutes later we stopped and bailed out of the train. And we were in nowhere land. The next train wasn��t going to come until about 10:30.

No problem.

Ayutthaya pt III �V In which there is no AC and no room.

But it was now only10:00 so we thought we would see what our chance were of getting a taxi back to Ayutthaya. Seemed pretty good. We found a guy who was willing to take us for dirt cheap. The only thing was that there was no room in the back so we had to sit up front with the driver. Now I am a wide person and Adrian is tall. So we don��t fit well into a small cab of a pick up with a third person.

Adrian was against the door and I was literally against the driver. And it was manual transmission. So every time he went to or from 2nd I was praying we wouldn��t hit a bump. The thing about taxis in Thailand is that they will load up with people and drive around dropping everyone off in the most convenient order. And since Adrian and I were heading the furthest away we were in the cab the longest. One hour and forty five minutes to be exact.

And there was no AC in the cab so it was hot. Sticky hot. Uggghhhh.

But he did get us to our destination so I can��t complain about him. And we did somehow manage to catch some sleep while we traveled in the oven of a truck cab. And we were there. Only 7 hours after we arrived at the train station.

Was Ayutthaya worth it? Nope.

It was nice, the pictures were good. But I would never go back again unless I could get there in under 2 hours.

The trip took about 12 hours and it was a trial.

The rest of the time in Bangkok was nice and relaxing. We just did some shopping, I got some massages, and we went to see a Cabaret. And the ��girls�� were beautiful. It was actually freaky how much they looked like gorgeous women.

The plain trip ride was great, but it was returning to Taiwan so it wasn��t that great.

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